Warning: Again, this is more of a personal post than a travel guide. Reading this post might cause eye sore, dizziness, and worst, it can trigger trauma.


Almost a month ago, I had to face a critical point in my life; that is, to finally end up everything. Yeah, I know, the major-major heartbreak happened for about ages now. I guess there’s a resounding “What? Hindi ka pa rin nakaka-move on???” in the background. But I’m proud to say, unlike before, I haven’t spent the past 6 months crying my everyday life. I was able to live my life. Yes, I survived but I know that deep inside me, I haven’t accepted everything yet…

…Not until I went to Caleruega.

Eversince all the hurt and depression sinked in, I’ve been planning for my great escape. I wanted to go somewhere no one knows me, somewhere no one would look at me as if there’s something wrong with me, somewhere no one would wonder if I am just okay or what. I have prepared myself going as far as Singapore and planned to stay there for good, I even availed all my Vacation Leaves for a Sagada Trip.

To the Moving On and Beyond, Take 1!
Just a few days before I leave for Sagada, a series of storms came in which destroyed the rice terraces and the road to Banaue. With the massive destruction in the North, I needed to change my itinerary.

Again, again, again: To the Moving On and Beyond Take 2!
Since spending my moving-on moments somewhere in the North was quite impossible, I decided to go the opposite way. I planned of climbing a bunch of mountains in the South. Itinerary – check. Budget – check. Equipments – check. And just when everything’s ready for the climb, PAG-ASA announced that there will be a storm in the provinces of the South. Whoo!! Not again???! Pag sine-swerte ka nga naman oh!

I got depressed. Yes, I really wanted to leave, I wanted to go somewhere. Yes, I NEED to go somewhere else. I just can’t spend our supposed to be 6th year anniversary in my room. It can’t be. It wouldn’t be good, I know.

A day before our anniversary, it seemed like suddenly, everything became dark… again. I know I have learned how to cope up with the pain. I know I have already moved on. I know I have passed and succeeded the DABDA for a couple of times already. But why was there something with October ** that made me feel gloomy.

And then, just out of nowhere…

I thought of…

… Caleruega.

I’m quite afraid because I am not ready to talk to God yet – I can’t lie to Him, He knows how I love that person so much. He knows everything. He knows every little thing, and I do not know what He is going to tell me. Worst, I am afraid that a day visit in Caleruega would not end up everything (compared to the 5 day stay I am supposed to spend in Sagada).

I wonder how many broken hearts went and healed themselves here…

My Sanctuary… Thank You God!

To my surprise, Caleruega changed how my great escape was supposed to be.

I wanted to escape because I wanted to vent out; I wanted to cry out every single drop of tear I have in me. I wanted to feel all the pain. I wanted to be myself, just give in and admit how I am still madly in love with that person. I wanted to release everything – every love, every passion, every dream, every hope and pain that I still have with me…

I just wanted to be alone.

Surprisingly, I was not alone that weekend. I felt God was with me, just in front of me, standing in all the trees that surround the area. For the whole day, I didn’t utter any single word but it felt like I have expressed everything I had been wanting to voice out for a long time now.

Surprisingly, I did not cry – this time, not because I held my tears nor I want to save myself from embarrassment that I haven’t moved on. But, maybe, just maybe, just like how my love for that person came in the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected manner, the GIFT of ACCEPTANCE came into me unexpectedly.

Caleruega Church

“Ngiti yung baon ko pagtayo ko sa upuan na nagduyan sa akin nang halos buong araw. Upuang walang ibang binigay sa akin kundi katahimikan at panibagong buhay. There’s always 2 sides of the story. There’s always a reason for everything. Hindi lang naman ako ang nagmahal at hindi lang naman ako ang nasaktan. Sa dami ng sulat na binigay ng dati kong mahal, sa dami ng pangakong nabitawan, sa dami ng I LOVE YOU ALWAYS at I LOVE YOU FOREVER na nasambit; nakakagulat at may mga bagay akong hindi napansin at linyang marahil nalaktawan — “I’LL BE THE MAN WHO WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO BE STRONG” Hindi ko alam pero biglang nabago ang puso ko, gumaan, napangiti ako…

… Maraming salamat tinupad mo pa rin ang iyong pangako, masasabi kong iba na ako ngayon, malakas na ako ngayon, MASAYA na ako ngayon. Maraming salamat.”

…On our supposed-to-be-anniversary, I decided to surrender myself and dated God. I had my solo retreat with all your letters and gifts. Again, I read all the hundred I Love You’s and promises but the pain of being broken surprisingly didn’t show up. It was a beautiful memory I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.


  1. jan kame nagretreat nun. i had the feeling na sobraang lapit mo kay god and whenever you have a prob and you sit somewhere, feeling mo anjan lang cya tinatabihan and sinasamahan ka nya. try it out lalo sa sunrise, im telling you, you'll love it. . .

  2. Tears on a saturday morning.
    Grabe mich, iba ka talaga.. it's been months, ngayon ko lang nabasa to but still, it touched me.. I wish kasing galing and strong mo rin ako.. idol!

  3. Chasing Philippines on


    Kakaiba talaga yung feeling. Parang pag umupo ka somewhere alone. Parang nakikita mo si God everywhere. You're alone literally, but you feel otherwise.

  4. nice mich…
    sana makarating din ako dyan. 🙂
    matagal ko na nadidinig ang tungkol sa Caleruega pero di ko pa napupuntahan…

    we have a Great God… 🙂

  5. Chasing Philippines on

    @ Queenie Sherlyn Semeniano,

    Thanks po. Yes, Caleruega is a must visit.
    Much better if you'll go there if you feel that your heart wants you to.
    It's a superb feeling.

  6. Reading your thoughts… think you have a very strong personality. Stories like these end up in pocket books and paper back novels. Giving pleasure to a single heart by a single act through God is better than a thousand bowing in prayer. You are a great blogger, keep up!

  7. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.

  8. I enjoy you because of every one of your work on this web site. My mother enjoys carrying out investigations and it is easy to see why. All of us learn all of the lively mode you provide sensible guidelines by means of the blog and therefore invigorate contribution from other people on the area of interest plus our own daughter is undoubtedly being taught a great deal. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You are conducting a pretty cool job.

  9. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.

  10. Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your web site, how
    could i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me
    a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted
    of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea

  11. I blog often and I truly appreciate your information. This great article has really peaked my interest.
    I will take a note of your blog and keep checking for
    new information about once a week. I opted in for your RSS feed too.

  12. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is
    a really well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of
    your useful information. Thanks for the post.
    I’ll definitely return.

  13. Thanks on your marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you are a great author.
    I will always bookmark your blog and will eventually come
    back in the future. I want to encourage you to ultimately continue your great
    posts, have a nice evening!

  14. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this site.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual
    appeal. I must say you’ve done a great job with this.
    In addition, the blog loads very fast for
    me on Opera. Outstanding Blog!

Leave A Reply